#FlashFictionFriday – Vol. 9: PARADISE LOST

Photo prompt this week via Pixabay

Photo prompt this week via Pixabay

It’s week nine of the flash fiction challenge by Flash Fiction for Aspiring Artists, check out their blog and join in or read other’s posts and be inspired. What a beautiful picture for this week’s prompt, I wish I were there…but after you read below, you’ll realize it’s all about context.

Read mine below and feel free to leave a comment. It’s intense, you’ve been warned. Enjoy!

PARADISE LOST(144 words)

Paradise causes my blood to run cold. The sun scalds my skin, angry and red, but my insides take the beating of an ice storm.  The fine white sand should be soothing and powder soft, instead it grates and dries my skin. The crystal blue waters foam at my ankles, yet all I can taste is the bitter salt of the sea.

A vacation. Brent and my little loves, Morgan and Jake. Until the lightning hit the plane. Everyone gone.

I love you, the words fade, my husband’s last breath on this breathtaking beach. I’d pulled him to shore. Too late. Much, much too late.

My insides now quiet, like the eye of the storm.

I was a wife. I was a mother.

I scream. I am a maelstrom of emotion.

Only one survivor. Twenty-three days. I am alone. They may never find me.


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20 Responses to #FlashFictionFriday – Vol. 9: PARADISE LOST

  1. Creatopath says:

    Wow, this was amazing Vanessa. I loved it. Intense, emotional and scary – the thought of perishing all alone on the island. Great imagery in the opening paragraph.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I so enjoy not only reading your work but learning from it as well. To create such intensity and so much drama, in so few words, is amazing. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! After reading the entire story you can see where she is coming from in the first paragraph! Very emotional with much anger. Great story Vanessa!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. milliethom says:

    Gripping and very well written, with some lovely descriptions. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. afairymind says:

    This is a powerful piece of writing. Great descriptions and a really good expression of her emotional state. Well written. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. oh my, that was great. I feel so bad for her

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ameena k.g says:

    My! Intense sure is the right word to describe this story. Your words clearly depict the emotions of a frustrated, stranded person. I sure hope someone finds her soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love how you started in the present, bitter moment before piercing us with what happened to get her to that point. She was shocked and devastated. Now she’s angry yet becoming detached. Great show of grief and post-traumatic stress. Sadly, her body might be found one day, but “she” might not. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Like it, a swan song of a woman coming to terms with losing it all. Excellent writing

    Liked by 1 person

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